Only My Daughter

Today all of us went to the YMCA. Just Sierra (my daughter) and me were swimming. Father and son played out in the hall and watched. I noticed when Sierra got close that she had makeup on. This wouldn't have been a problem if I also didn't know that she hadn't had time to put it on after school before we left the house. So I ask her, "When did you put eyeshadow on?" She told me on the bus. Her friend had some. Hmmm. My detective mommy brain goes into suspicion mode. So I asks, before school or after school? Well of course she said in the morning. We have a rule in this house. She's allowed to wear makeup only at home. My mother had the same rule when I was my daughters age. When Sierra is in 6th grade then she'll be allowed to wear makeup (tastefully) at school. Sierra is only 10 and in 4th grade.

After giving the speech about doing wrong and when she can were makeup at school, she starts asking if she could please please please wear makeup at school because everyone else does. No my darling dear. I know you really want to, but no you may not!

But I had to smile. I remember when I was her age. Oh  yes dear daughter, I know all the tricks of the trade. I wore makeup before my mother was ready to see it on me too.

And then she does another thing that reminds me she's my daughter. Getting ready to leave the YMCA, she's in the bathroom stall next to me and I hear a plop and then she starts crying. Somehow, someway, she fell off the toilet seat. Silly silly girl. It's probably my fault she's so clumsy. I was too at her age. She's ok, just has a sore bottom. But I couldn't stop myself from laughing a little.

I've come to realize that motherhood has turned me into a prude. There was a young couple kissing and hugging and otherwise doing "young love" kind of things. I saw my daughter watching them and suddenly I wanted that couple to stop. I've never been uncomfortable with public displays of affection. Hell I was that couple when I was young! And doing much more naughty stuff than that couple was doing. But thinking of my daughter who will be a teen in just a few short years, I'm ready to embrace my mommy prudish morals!

Getting Back to Me

I feel good. Despite our living situation which constantly plagues my good humor, adding an exercise and diet routine I think is very healthy for me both physically and mentally. It feels like one more step toward a better future.

Before my life went to hell, I had started to loose weight. I joined curves and met some very nice women. I LOVED curves. I realize their circuit gets a bad rap because its not very challenging for some people. But for someone like me who is morbidly obese and has an anxiety of working out with men, it was the perfect solution. Not to mention I got a lot of one on one with the trainer.

With the YMCA I have yet to actually see a trainer. There was one attendant there, but he seemed more like a custodian than there to help you. So far I've stuck to just walking on the treadmill for 10 minutes. That's sufficient to make me a bit light headed, so I'm sticking with that for now. But I also added swimming to my day today.

I love getting in that pool! Though I'm not a strong swimmer, I did venture out to the 8 foot part of it today. I was very proud of myself for being brave. I've never wrote about this before, but I believe I drowned in a past life. So me and water kind of have this love/hate thing going.

I love to be in it, love to meditate while floating on the water. But I also get paranoid when I know my feet can't touch the bottom. So most of the time I stay in the 3 ft area. My daughter is the same way and she hates to get her face wet.

The good news is I lost weight this week, though its not much. Remember I just started this on Tuesday. So on Tuesday I weighed 265 lbs. Today, 263. So not much difference but its a start.

My muscles aren't as sore. I think the swimming is really helping with that. Tomorrow is a skip it day to just rest and then back for more on Monday. I hope I can convince Dh to go with me then since he won't have to work. Its so much better when we do this together.

Have a wonderful and lazy Sunday everyone!

Joined the YMCA

So today I joined the YMCA. The whole family went tonight. Dh lifted a few weights while me, baby boy and Sierra went out on the playground to play. For some reason the child watch area was empty so I had to stay with Wyatt. But after about 20 mins Dh came out so I could go in and do a workout myself.

I did the treadmill for 10 minutes. Just walking with an incline but I need to build up to actually running on the thing. Before I started I weigh...

265 lbs which is pre-pregnancy weight. So I can't even blame it on the baby.

Here's today's pictures.

Wish me luck! Joining the YMCA and using the fitness area is really forcing me to face one fear of mine. I hate working out with men around. Especially ones that are muscle bound brutes. Ok so I know not all men with huge muscles are brutes, but its just what comes to mind when I see huge muscle men.

But no one paid me any mind at all. And by the end of my 10 minutes I was a bit shaky. So for now I think that's my cut off time.