Happy Birthaversary to me!

 I'm bringing last year's post back to just update. Today is once again my 33rd birthday and our anniversary. 15 years now! We lovingly call it my Birthaversary. How the hell did I put up with him for so long? lol

 We're spending the day with Lance in bed because he's sick, and I'm irritated because I was given a table on Freecycle and he won't go get it. Such is life right? But I still love him, even though he's a big baby when he's sick.

No presents, no cake. All the usual bit. We wake up, he says Happy Birthaversary. I say thank you and happy Anniversary. Then we're back to our daily lives. Perfect marriage right? lol 

Wyatt fell asleep like this last night. lol

           I couldn't resist adding a picture of my little man. I think I've neglected to mention on here that we are now cloth diapering. A friend and I made a trade. My breast pump for 10 cloth diapers yesterday. This blue jeans one was apart of that trade. Isn't he adorable in it?!

We've been cloth diapering for about a month now. Because my apartment has no washer/dryer hookup I wash by hand. It's going well though and I see no reason I can't continue cloth diapering up till he's potty trained. :)










~Magickal Graphics~



Posted: November 4th, 2011

Lance, the Kiss freak

This man, right to the left there, is the goofiest man alive! And he's all mine. :) November 4th marks 14 happily married years of putting up with silly antics from the man of my dreams. We have a 10 yr difference in our ages, and I can remember from a small girl I was infatuated with him!
Our relationship is kinda , well , weird. Without going into all the details, he's always been in my life. We saw each other occasionally. I was a little girl in pig tails who followed him around constantly. Then we moved away and I didn't see him for a long time. When I was 14 he moved to KY and lived with us for awhile. I still remember that day vividly. When we came home he was sitting in a chair by our front door. He had long hair and a gray t-shirt and jeans on. He looked like the bad tattoo man. You know the one you wouldn't want your daughter to go out with. Instant puppy love I tell you!
Over the next couple of years I'd have to see him date other women and it was torture for me! I knew they were not good enough, but I didn't let my feelings get in between us or stop me from dating others. We both went our separate ways as far as relationships.

Lance before we were together

Over the years his antics would make me laugh, cry, and shake my head in disbelief a few times!

2008

So what is a Birthaversary? Well it is my Anniversary and My Birthday! Today marks my 32 days young birthday.

Since money is an issue we've never really been able to do much for our anniversary. This year DH bought me a crochet hook and yarn so I get to finally start learning a new craft!  I've been wanting to do this for some time now. I spent 4 hours doing a simple chain over and over again. I think I unraveled it 2 or 3 times. But anything worth doing takes practice!

So here is what I finally accomplished.

My first attempt before I unraveled it. See I wasn't counting my rows and was getting lost a bit at the ends.

My finished product!

Now I'm going to spend some time on crochet websites learning more and then I'm going to attempt a baby blanket for Wyatt. I may also try a little hoodie or booties too. :) I simply love being a crafty little witch.

Blessings Love and Light my darlings.

Be Careful What You Witch For

So today I was thinking about an old spell I did and I thought it would be a good lesson to blog about. I am a healer and so it hurts me when I see those that I am closest to in pain. My husband is Bipolar as well as having various physical ailments. Several years ago I had the bright idea (I.E. stupid idea) to cast a spell helping to carry his burden of pain when it became too much for him. So I set my alter up, had my various healing herbs and candles and cast my spell. What followed was nothing. Or so I thought it was just another dud spell that didn't work the way I intended it to. Hey it happens to us all.

I worded my spell so that when my DH felt too overwhelmed and unable to go on that I'd "carry the burden". Meaning I'd feel his pain. I knew it probably wasn't the greatest idea I had, but just getting rid of his pain wasn't working. DH was convinced that the pain isn't suppose to go away and he's somehow meant to suffer. So I was desperate to help.

Over the weeks nothing happened and all was relatively normal. Then I noticed I began to get a little depressed. It was only for an hour or two and also coincided with DH first saying his head was too much, and then his moods leveling out and he'd mention he felt almost normal. During this time I'd become depressed, mad, and downright crazy. I didn't connect the two (Honestly I forgot about the spell by this time) till DH and I had our one and only fight that almost broke us up. Then I finally connected the dots I could see how subtle the spell was and how well it actually worked.

After explaining to my husband about the spell and why my head went a bit freaky, he insisted I reverse the spell and never do healing work for him again. I broke my cardinal rule. Never attempt a healing without permission, and never keep anyone's pain.   

But if I had it all to do over again, I'd repeat my mistakes. Yes it almost cost me my marriage and made me seriously insane for awhile. But it also taught me a lot about energy healing and about what my husband feels every single day. I have more patience and empathy for him now that I know what it means when he says he's angry for no reason. That was a foreign concept to me before the spell.

So my lesson for today. Don't be afraid to make mistakes as long as you learn something from them. And its probably not a good idea to forget you cast for something, even if you think it didn't work. A week, or a month, or even a year later you might be pleasantly (or not so pleasantly) surprised.

Sleep Deprived

I nap a lot during the day, especially when DH is home. Right now he's between job assignments so he's home a lot. Which is good and bad. The good is that I can catch up on sleep sooner, the bad is that I'm going nuts and just wish he'd go find a job. DH was going to go to London which is about 2 hrs drive away to put in applications yesterday. But yesterday morning he said there was snow on the ground [That melted before I woke up] and he didn't know if it was going to snow again so wanted to stay home. I checked the news and told him no snow predicted, but somehow that didn't change his mind.

I know my husband has a mental illness. I know he has some anxiety about going back to work. But this can't go on! I call bullshit on his snow excuse. Every time he says he's going to go looking there's always a reason not to go. He did go to the next town over and put him a few applications. That took less than an hour. Then he was back home playing on the computer and doing nothing. And ya know what, that mysterious snow storm no one predicted but him, never came.

OK sorry I'm ranting. I've just had lack of sleep and disappointed in everything. Wyatt will not sleep in his bed tonight. I don't know why but sometimes he just refuses to sleep in his playpen.

He goes through these days where he sleeps just fine in it, the next he wants to be held or sleep next to me all night long. Those nights are exhausting and I've pretty much given up on getting any sleep right now. Though Wyatt is happily asleep next to me on the couch. I bet if I moved him to his bed he'd be awake in 2 seconds flat.

Going Against the Grain

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
- Mark Twain

This quote makes me think about my husband before we got together. I've always been teased in school and as a result I had a very low opinion of myself at one point. He noticed that I was constantly belittling my worth and commented on it one day. I'm paraphrasing what he said, but it was something like this.

"How can anyone else love you, if you don't love yourself? I am number one in my life, and you should feel the same. If you really wanted to change something about yourself, you'd do it not just talk about it. When you love yourself, you become easy to love by others."

It was then that I realized I needed to stop being so critical of myself. I was never going to be a super model. I may never be thin. And I realized over time that it's societies pressures to be beautiful that make me want to loose weight. Not for health reasons nor to be more beautiful. Because honestly, I'm beautiful no matter what size jeans I fit into.

My ambition in life has been to be who I am regardless of what other people think of me. The day I realized my worth is the day I took my future in my hands and shaped who I am without fear of societies rules. Has it stopped others from teasing? No. Someone will always comment that I'm a hippy tree hugger or that I'm a fat woman.

But as long as I remember that I am number one, no one can belittle me.

I promise not to keep quoting childhood cartoons, but please forgive me for adding one more.

Image source

The Perfect Marriage

Note: The following may ruffle a few feathers. I hope that you can see my words are offered in an attempt to show another way.

Most people will tell you that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Their view of marriage is mostly harmonious with a few screaming fits in there somewhere.

I say, if you are screaming at one another then you don't have a perfect marriage. And yes, its possible!

Lance and I. 2008

At 16 years old I started dating Lance, my future husband. At 18 we moved out of my mothers house (HE was living with us). On my 19th birthday we were being married. Everyone around us told me I was too young, he was too old (10 yrs difference). That we should wait for me to "live" a little. etc. etc... I believe the "expiration date" on our marriage was somewhere around 5 years according to some people. Here we are 14 years later and going strong.

I say if you scream at your partner and call them names then you don't have respect for them. Therefore the marriage cannot be healthy. Lance and I came from homes where it was common to hear our parents fighting, calling each other names, basically doing everything but physical violence to hurt one another. Then of course there was the "make up" days. This is very hard for children to witness. Some people say its necessary for kids to see so they will know how to deal with conflict. But this is no way to deal with conflict. You deal with conflict by talking and compromise, not screaming and insisting on only one persons view is correct. The power struggle so many couples participate in isn't healthy. Couples should work together, not try to be the top dog in every fight.

Our rules in marriage are simple. Don't be rude. If you wouldn't say it to a stranger, don't say it to your partner. Have respect, tell each other "I love you often". Don't tell the other to go away. Always talk about what we are thinking. Talking does NOT involve raised voices and slamming doors or throwing items. Come up with a solution that is best for the entire family. Don't be a dick just because your having a bad day.

I hope everyone has The Perfect Marriage. But if you don't, perhaps its time to talk with your partner and implement a few ground rules.