Pagan Parenting: My Way

I grew up in a "Christian Light" household. By that I mean my mother claimed she was Christian but never preached to us, never went to a church, and the only religious study she encouraged was to throw a children's bible at me on my 13th birthday and tell me to read it.

My grandparents were the opposite. They were very fundamental. You went to church on Sundays. Always had to dress up. Sunday school was suppose to be a weekly event. I remember the one and only time I went. I guess I asked a "dumb" question. I never went back. I don't remember what I asked now, but I remember what they were preaching didn't make much sense to me.


So as my daughter matures I've always let my daughter know that when she wishes to participate and learn about Wicca I will teach her. Similarly, I will help her learn other faiths as well. I feel it is important to learn about all major and some minor religions to have a better understanding of other cultures and people.
Last year my daughter participated in her first Full moon ceremony. I was so proud of her! She said her part when it came time and took her cues from the adults. She enjoyed it a lot. She also has worked with me when doing a spell and kept asking to "do it again". lol. For now she thinks its fun, but knows its not something that is to be played with. I've always told her what I believe in, and in no way do I expect her to follow me. But if that is her wish I would help guide her way.

Over the years I've had to protect her from other people. While I don't mind that she learns about other religions when she is older and doesn't believe everything she hears, in her younger years they are so impressionable. When she was a toddler I didn't speak much about our faith and when I did speak about it, I always reminded her that its what I believe and one day she would learn and make a choice about her faith. While she was young and too impressionable we dropped off the "Pagan radar". Mainly because I didn't want to be carrying around a toddler at festivals, but it served to isolate us from others. I feel that if they are young enough where just mentioning God means the child repeats, "I believe in God" then its too young.

Religion is a choice, not a birth right. I do not want my daughter to be Wiccan because I am. I want her to study and come to that conclusion (Or whatever faith she decides) herself.

Am I wrong in wanting to stay home?

To understand my story you need a little background information.
With my first child I was working as a Printer for a pet products company. Both DH and I worked together. After having my daughter I spent 4 weeks home but was forced to return to work because of money. I breast fed DD until I went back to work because the job required I work with chemicals that enters the blood through skin contact and therefore also milk.
Fast forward 10 years later and I feel like my husband has a better relationship with our daughter than I do. We really missed that bonding time. Yes you can bond in other ways but that didn't happen because DH was always the one to do most of the "work". Leaving me to do other household chores.

So now that our son is here, I've breast fed him for 3 months and its been wonderful. He and I are really bonded and I love it. He prefers me. My husband can't hold him long because Wyatt always cries. And Dh has arthritis now which makes it painful for him to hold Wyatt for a long time. Wyatt isn't happy most of the time unless he's getting attention or being held.

Because we are on government assistance right now, we are required to do a job requirement to recieve our benefits. I stayed in KY with my mother (Under horrible conditions while pregnant) and DH was suppose to get a job before I came to Ohio. That didn't happen. I finally had enough of those bad conditions and came to Ohio when I was 32 weeks pregnant. We are still living with MIL.

Dh has done "some" job searching. But most of the time he sits around the house and plays on the computer or watches tv or sleeps. He hasn't been doing the job search because he's bipolar and they are afraid he will "snap". He's been bipolar for a very long time. Now, he did freak out one time and he has some anxiety over finding a new job because of the way he was fired from his last job. However he's on medication now and it seems to be a little better. IMO he's just fine to go to work.

Wouldn't it make more sense for him to go so I can stay home and care for our children? He can't take care of the baby. Yet I'm about to be forced to satisfy the job requirement because Dh won't do it. I just want to scream. If I go to work I'd have to get someone else to babysit. I do NOT like strangers looking after my child. DH could take care of our daughter. She is 9 and basically can take care of herself. But he wouldn't be able to take care of Wyatt. And Wyatt refuses a bottle 99% of the time anyway. The only times he really will take a bottle is if he is absolutely starving!

I'm just really frustrated. I feel like DH just needs to man up and go get a job. Yet he thinks its better I do it. I've tried talking to him this morning. He didn't say anything though.

How to Raise a Dog

 Over the recent years we have heard more and more about breed-specific legislation. And its no wonder considering the horrific news stories we've all heard and shaken our head over.
There have been arguments for both sides. One wants to eradicate all known "killer" breeds, the other argues for socialization and training. Neither side though is going to win this argument until we get to the root of the problem.
Since the first time we tamed the a wolf to be a pet, we have been conditioning animals to be our companions. What we have lost sight of though is the reminder that animals are exactly that, an animal. Even your most docile breed can bite.
So when you leave your children in a room alone with your pet, you are trusting your dog with your children's life. Especially when your children are very young. Just as you cannot trust even the most docile pet, you cannot trust the most docile child. Simply to walk up on a dog fast and startle him, or pull on a tail or ear can set off a dogs nature to protect himself.
Dogs are NOT babysitters. No matter how many times we like to remember Lassie reruns, we must remember that dogs cannot be left unattended with children. As the adult in the household, you need to be certain that you raise a well rounded dog that is part of the pack. From the beginning YOU need to establish who is pack leader. Dogs are much happier if they know who is in charge. So that means instead of letting little foo foo do whatever it wants, you need to train your dogs. Your dogs need exercise, socialization and their generally much happier if they have a job.
Insuring that you have a well rounded dog doesn't just start from puppy-hood. It begins before the puppy is even born.
Breeders out there are plentiful. But not every one knows what they are doing. An irresponsible breeder has little selection process besides whether the dog is male, female, breed type, and intact. If a dog has been poorly bred or inbred from the start, chances are that the temperament of the dog and bitch were not tested. Given that you put two aggressive dogs together to breed, would it be any wonder that the pups turn out aggressive?

Buying from bybers just encourages the supply and demand. In the end all it ensures is that more dogs end up in shelters or heaven forbid, end up on the evening news as a dog that has attacked.
A responsible breeder will test their dogs for any traits that can be passed onto the puppies that is undesirable. This normally cannot be done till they are at least 2 of age. So if your breeder is throwing their 1 yr old dogs together to make some cash, walk away very fast.
The breeding stock should be selected carefully with temperament testing, health checks, and at the least a proven working skill or some kind of competition excellence. Why breed dogs just to make more puppies? After all there are plenty in shelters needing homes. Breeding should be done to better a breed, not to add to our already growing supply of pet quality dogs.
Raising a well rounded dog is our responsibility. And avoiding dog attacks from happening begins with knowing your dogs needs, vices, and counteracting that with training, socialization, and avoiding situations that will set the dog up for failure. A dog is not a play thing you can toss in the backyard and then bring back into the family fold and think they will be well socialized pets. They need your time, your commitment, and your love.
Breed specific legislation will never work because it does not solve the root of the problem. Until we decide as a whole to educate all pet owners on how to properly train and socialize dogs, BSL will not become a thing of the past.
It is up to us to change the way we treat our animals. The fact remains that humans are responsible for dog attacks. If its really all in how their raised, it starts with every pet owner reading this journal.