Wallowing in the Dirt of Self Pity

Tears are words that need to be written.”
― Paulo Coelho

“there are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone.”
― Nicole Krauss, The History of Love  

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer 

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it--always.”
― Mahatma Gandhi 

As a witch I understand the way energy flows. Right now, my energy isn't so good. I know that I should be positive, keep busy, cleanse and ground my energy. I'm doing none of that. Right now, I'm hiding my head in my favorite books and pretending the world doesn't exist; that my troubles aren't there.

I can't even tell you why I feel this way, other than the usual crap I deal with. But today it just seems like too much. At night I'm constantly thinking of our troubles. Of how to move on in our life to a positive outcome. I don't see it happening. And so I dream of drastic changes too painful to bear.

So those are my tears, written on this page. Tomorrow I'll forget they exist and go on with my life. But today, I get to wallow in them for today. Like the ostrich who buries its head in the sand, eventually it lifts its head and moves on. This too shall pass. 

Assertive Magick

Kara Kay on My Pagan Opinions has done a video on curses and hexes. She's inspired me to write on this subject. Before I talk about my views, lets watch her video.

Kara talks about curses being nothing more than negative energy that you accept because you are not centered. You've allowed the negative energy to affect you. I absolutely agree, even though I am guilty of doing just that from time to time. Nobody is perfect all the time imo. I am a very sensitive empath. If I am not shielding yes I'll feel every one's emotions and I find it harder to do that when I am exhausted.

Kara also makes an analogy of defensive and offensive driving in regards to energy. There are times when you cannot avoid negative energy. It comes at you whether you like it or not. So what is a witch to do when avoidance techniques do not work? Well that's where Assertive magick comes into play.

Years ago I was a supervisor of a printing company. One of my employees came to me and asked if I could curse her ex-boyfriend who was stalking her. She knew I am a witch but didn't exactly know "the rules" or specifics. I of course refused. After giving it some thought though, I knew that I could help her in a way.

What I did was create a magickal "booby trap". In my spell it was worded so that nothing would happen to the ex-boyfriend if he chose to leave her alone. If he chose not to leave her alone, his own negative actions resulted in the negativity to be turned on himself.

Within two hours of making a threatening phone call to my friend, he was in jail. It was a separate charge that the county did not see fit to arrest him for until that day. It had nothing to do with stalking, but the result was that he had to leave her alone while he dealt with his legal matters. 

Because his own actions were the negative force, I nor my friend had sent out negativity, so we were not "cursing", but protecting by using an assertive spell.

Note that assertive is not aggressive. It is to make a stand with confidence but not violence. You maintain control and never go against your ethics even if its tempting. Harming/cursing someone is always wrong and even as a last ditch effort, will still result in negative karmic return.

Blue Moons Powerful Energy Boosted by Hurricane Isaac

We're coming up on a very powerful time in the year. Not only because of the moon but because of weather events as well. On the 31st we will have a blue moon, which just means we have an extra full moon in our calendar year. This only happens every 2 or so years. Hence why they call it "once in a blue moon".

This is a great time to work on any spell that is going to take a long time to come to fruition. If you're working on your finances, school, or other life long changes, this is a powerful time to do this kind of spell work.

However Hurricane Isaac is on it's way, and for those of us in the northern part of the county it shouldn't hit us until Friday evening, Saturday, and maybe a little bit Sunday. Which means that the energy of the storm is going to be mixing with the energy of the blue moon. It's an especially chaotic time of high energy.

Weather magick always gives me an "energy high". You should always ground during any magickal work, however grounding is very important with weather magick because the energy is raw and chaotic. Without grounding you may feel a bit light headed, dizzy, and you'll just be flinging out energy with no real direction for it to go. Needless to say a lot of magical oops can happen during this time if you are not careful.

So for those who plan on doing a blue moon ritual, you may find yourself needing a little more time to ground. During the ritual keep a stone or a bit of sand in your hands or pocket. Or if you have a small pouch put some soil in it and wear around your neck. As always, make sure your purpose is clear and precise to avoid any magickal mistakes.

Do you have plans for what you'll be doing during the blue moon? I will once again be teaching my daughter about ritual, and she'll be helping me set up the altar. Since we are facing some large changes in our life (Possibly moving and beginning the K-12 online school for DD) I'll be focusing on our financial life as well as giving thanks for all we have.

Wicca Is Not A Feminist Religion

Image Source

There is certainly no denying that there is an imbalance in Wicca regarding female to male members. Just go to a festival and you'll notice women outnumber the men by a large percent. Even my husband technically isn't Wiccan though he shares a large part of the beliefs. This isn't to cast Wicca in a bad light. It just isn't his calling to label himself as any religion. So why is Wicca lacking in men?

Perhaps we just put too much emphasis on the feminine and so males don't feel comfortable in circle. Maybe we need to give men more roles and control in rituals. I also think its natural for women to focus more on the feminine. We are women after all. As a woman who grew up without a father, I haven't much need for the masculine. I try to bring him into my life because I do believe we should have an equal duality, but I don't feel especially connected to the Lord.

Then there's the stigma of people thinking that if your Wiccan and male you are gay. While homosexuality is becoming more accepted [especially among the Pagan community], I don't know any straight male who wants to be called gay. So I can see this as a major deterrent.

As a Wiccan practitioner how do you bring the masculine energy into your life? How have you tried to change pre-conceived perceptions in regards to male gender roles? If you are a male Wiccan or witch, what challenges have you faced in the Pagan community?

An Extension of Me

My daughter, just after a haircut. We kept her hair short for practical reasons.

Atreya over on 2 Witches 1 Blog has posted about our hair being an extension of our energy. I must say this is an intriguing idea that I've never considered before.

Throughout most of my life I've kept my hair medium to very long. My longest was right below my butt. However as I got older my hair began to give me headaches. So I made the decision to cut it to just above my shoulders.

The cut gave me a feeling of freedom. Not just from the weight of the hair but a freedom of changing my life. At every major change in my life there's also been a sudden need to cut my hair. So subconsciously, I think that energy the hair stores may be why I had a need to "start over". Sort of a subconscious reboot of energy.

Lately I've thought about letting my hair grow out, and if we continue with this theory that hair holds the energy of our life, that means I have a need to build energy. Which given my current living situation, is certainly true.

Do you feel that our hair holds apart of our energy? Do you see haircuts as a cosmic reboot of energy? Or is a haircut just a haircut and for aesthetic purposes only?

Emergency Smudge

Today while visiting with my friend who runs the Inanna Spiritual Center in Chillicothe, OH she had a visitor come in off the street. Normally this isn't a problem and is a welcome experience. However once in awhile someone who is less than desirable walks in. Today unfortunately was one of those days. So I found myself in need of an emergency smudge.

I've talked before about how to spiritually protect your person, but your surroundings also need to be cleansed when you've had a visitor that leaves their energy behind that isn't healthy. In today's instance we had a slightly judgmental visitor. Her energy was all over the place and very chaotic. I know she is very much confused on many issues and hopefully the talk she had with Lynn will help her find her way.

Unfortunately because of the street visitors energy we missed an opportunity to help someone else dealing with depression. Lynn had come to find me to "volunteer" my services as a spiritual counselor, but in all the confusion the person left. I'm sure the atmosphere caused by the street visitor was only making this persons depression worse. Hopefully they will come back and Lynn will be able to help, though I would have liked the chance to make a difference today. I just hope wherever she went, she finds the help she is seeking.

After that I decided the place needed an energy cleanse. So I borrowed some sweet grass (I would normally use Sage but it was unavailable, so this was the next best alternative.) from Lynn and smudged everyone who wished as well as the building. I'm sure it will need it again soon, but at least today I left the place feeling a little better.

I think in the future, I should carry a little emergency spirit pack. I can see where it would be useful to carry a stick of sage and perhaps a few favorite crystals as well.

What else should go in an emergency spirit pack? I'd love to hear your ideas.

Samhain with Friends

So tonight we did Samhain at Innana's Spiritual Center. Lynn had a beautiful ritual prepared. I helped by calling a corner (North). We honored our ancestors in a private setting. I ate a portion of a lemon in honor of my grandfather. When I was a kid every weekend that I visited my grandfather, he would take me to the truck stop restaurant. My grandmother would order tea with lemon. I'd always eat the lemon and my grandfather would get a pucker on his face and say EW stop eating that. I did it to get that very reaction and it became a game over the years for us. So each year to honor and if I'm being truthful annoy him, I eat a portion of a lemon. I know anytime I do, he's standing there telling me to stop eating the nasty lemon. ;)

After ritual we all mingled and talked. Someone there was talking about if you've had a c-section that your energy ends at the scar. I don't really believe that. But do we have any readers that believe this or have heard of this belief? I suppose if you believe that your nerves is what carries the energy it could be true. I don't though. It was just interesting to hear another perspective.




~Magickal Graphics~





And a special Thank you to my DD. She babysat for me and earned an extra $5 for her allowance. :)

Update on Job Search

First I'd like to thank everyone who sent out their love and energy to help me find a job. As someone not accustomed to outside help, any thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

The position I interviewed for yesterday just wasn't right for me. The staffing service was not accurate in their description of the job. I was thinking it was a clerical position. Its not. I would have been required to enter some data into their computers, but I would mainly be checking in mail and restocking their inventory which would require heavy lifting. Sorry to say but my back and feet just can't handle that kind of work anymore. I did a manufacturing job for a lot of years and toward the end of that job I was in a lot of pain. My husband was able to do some of the lifting for me so I never quit because of the pain, but if he hadn't of been there to take up the slack I would have left for that reason. I have a lot of experience in that area, and since It was a skilled job I could have made more money if I went for it again. But I won't because of the pain.

I guess I failed to inform the staffing service that a manufacturing job just isn't for me. Though to be fair, I said I am looking for clerical!

The job does sound excellent for my husband. So we are going to make sure they see his resume' again. Hopefully we can get him an interview. I know he would be good at it and the company sounds like a good one. So more love and energy for him would be a blessing!

A Good Energy Request

Hello everyone! I'd like to ask my readers to send good energy, thoughts, prayers for me tomorrow. I have a second interview at 1:30. I hope this job is right for me and I impress the company. We need the money so we can get off of assistance and find our own place. I know we are all tired of living with MIL. Its time to move on!

If you could please just keep me in your good wishes and send lots of positive energy I'd appreciate it! While I feel sad that if I get this job I will no longer be a SAHM, it's really past time I re-enter the work force. I do feel better that Dh will be a SAHD. It's important to me that Wyatt have at least one of us here. He is going to try to get disability which will take awhile to get. Money will still be tight even if I get the job, but it will help!

Thank you very much.

Robin

Pagan Blog Prompt: Energy

Prompt: Energy in Objects

Do you believe in channeling energy (either your own or from other sources) into objects for a goal or purpose?

Do you conduct rituals to charge objects (with moonlight, water, salts, etc)?

Is the world just a bunch of energy, that we are moving and bending to our will (magic)?

Run with it! I'm sure there's lots of directions you guys can take this...

~     ~    ~    ~    ~

Every natural object stores energy. Every living thing has its own energy. And then we have the Universal Energy (Earths Energy) As two people have a conversation, they are exchanging their energy. Energy knows no limits. It doesn't stop at walls, roads, states, or countries. That is why you can get a "feel" for someone online. Because even though you can be countries away from one another energy still flows. 

As far as charging objects, yes I do this. Usually I'd wear a necklace. Lately I don't because my son  likes to grab things. But I charge them with positive energy, or with an intent I have in mind. Sometimes I will charge them for my husband to wear. Sort of a "Carry a little part of me" when we have to be away from each other for awhile. In January we separated for 3 months due to financial reasons. We were making the move to Ohio and he came first to find a job. Finding a job didn't happen, but the point is we were separated for a time. We exchanged necklaces before he left as a charm to keep a little bit of us together. Anytime I missed him, I'd play with the necklace and feel his presence. 

Magick can be bent to our will. This is called spell work. It should only be done with respect. If your just out to do spell work for fun, its not for you. Its also not meant to solve all your personal problems, though it certainly can help, you are required to do any "mundane" work to bring about the change. You can't just hope to find a job by casting spells, and then never put in an application. 

Energy can also be used to heal people or pets. I've talked about that in another post you may read here.

Some other ways to use energy is to protect yourself mentally. Psychic protection takes practice but can be a huge help when you empathic. I've wrote about Spiritual Protection in this blog post.

A favourite pagan holiday that you celebrate.

Hands down it is Samhain (Oct 31-Nov 1) that is my favorite Pagan holiday. It is the last of the Harvest celebrations and one I'm always looking forward to. It is a time to mark the death of the God and the coming rebirth. Samhain is a time to honor our ancestors. They say this time is the thinnest between the veil of this world and the next. Divination is often done at this time to see what the winter might bring and commune with lost loved ones.

Some of my favorite past experiences at Samhain have been a re birthing ritual. Until I moved, we joined up with Linda Tipton and her coven Circle of the Blue Moon to do a Samhain celebration. We were made to walk along a path lit by tea light candles alone. This walk was very spiritual for everyone. In the end of the path was Ms Linda doing one reading for each person. You could ask one question of her. At the end you were "reborn" to the new year. I loved doing this. And I think it really marked a changing point in my spiritual life. I'll keep what I asked to myself. ;)

But we've had our fun times too. I remember several members drinking a little too much homemade mead. My husband played the designated friend and made sure no one fell into fire pits. He picked up quite a few people passed out in the bushes!

One year, it was so cold at Samhain (We always camped out) that we had to leave. It really isn't smart to camp out at the end of October. That year it was bitter cold. We got to a point where Lance and I could no longer feel our feet even while standing next to the open fire. So we left, found a hotel and came back the next day. I got pregnant that spring, so we never did another camping in October; especially with the baby around. We did visit for the days however. When we returned to work we were laughing at ourselves and quite a few people heard the story. To this day there is a UPS worker who reminds us of camping in October when he sees us.

Samhain is just a great time to celebrate family, the death and rebirth of life, and the changing of the seasons. Its a favorite of many Wiccans and its not hard to see why. We dance, we laugh, we sing and praise the Lord and Lady. And we remember those who have left us this year.

Blessings, Love, and Light

The Importance of Grounding during Magickal works

Grounding is connecting yourself to the Earth before beginning any magickal works. Its important to ground yourself first because you're more in control of your energy and you'll have better focus. I remember my first Pagan circle I attended. I had no idea what grounding meant and no one told me to do it. So when we began to build up energy I felt like I could literally just float away. It was an awesome feeling, but you do not want to be out of control while doing magick.

To ground, all you really need to do is connect with Mother Earth. I  imagine my feet as roots of a tree. The deeper I can imagine my roots going into the Earth the more grounded, focused and in control I am.

For those who read this who practice the craft, what ways do you ground yourself?

Salem's Elemental Meditations: Fire

Fire is one of my most favorite elements. Its an element of passion, focus, dance, music and energy. It never fails to bring out the passion in life. Since the beginning of man we have been staring into fires and sometimes seeing the beyond. Whether you can build a huge bon fire or have a small candle, you can do a fire meditation.

I'm mostly a solitary Wiccan practitioner, but once in while my family and I join up with a coven. I always look forward to the evening when we sit around the bon fire and the young and energetic dance to the beat of the drums. I don't dance, and I don't drum. But I do sit and watch and meditate. The flames focus my mind. It takes me on a journey of passion, of music, of freedom.

The next time you find yourself alone at night. Turn off all the lights and light a candle. Sit and stare at the flame. Allow your mind to relax. Do your breathing exercises. Relax your muscles one by one. If your mind wonders to mundane things bring it back to the flame. Notice how it twists. How it grows bright, and then a little dull again. Think of your passions in life. You may even find the flame taking on a certain shape. Are there areas in your life where you should let go? Are you uncertain about a decision you need to make? Perhaps you've been too restrained in life and need to just dance. Focus on the topic and allow your mind to go over the issue and possible outcomes. Enjoy the passion of fire and bring it into your life daily.

I hope you enjoy meditating with fire as much as I do.
Blessings, Love, & Light,