A Wish of Good Harvest to You

Well if you're Pagan you probably already know it is the first harvest or Lammas/Lughnasadh. Since my DH was hired at Goodwill we are finally bringing in a little more money. We had to wait a couple of weeks for his first check and since he is paid every two weeks it seemed like forever until he was paid again. Finally we are able to begin saving to move out of MIL's home. This harvest of money is greatly needed in our life.

Kota Blue Storm

We had a slight setback in our savings when my dog Kota (who lives with my mother in KY) needed to go to the vet. She has severe allergies and it was just getting too bad. So she went to the vet where he gave her a steroid shot that she will likely need the rest of her life. I'm hoping once we find a place to live and are able to bring Kota home she won't need it. If she does need it then that's what she'll get. Kota is so much apart of our family. I haven't saw her in so long and I worry she won't even recognize me.

Does anyone Freecycle? About a week ago someone was giving away blackberries. I use to pick blackberries when I was a child for my mother. There was some growing wild next to a fence row my mother would send me out to pick anytime she wanted to make a pie. So guess what I did with my blackberries? You guessed it. I made a blackberry and jam pie. The recipe is one of my MIL's so I can't link it. Here is a recipe for blackberry jam which was the topping for my pie. I even made a second pie for some new residents that moved in a few doors down. See I can be social when I want. *wink*.

Pin stripped under bust corset.

With more money means we can afford to spend a little on our happiness. DH bought Diablo 3 for his computer. He loves computer games and I'll admit I use to be big on playing World of Warcraft. I thought it a bit unfair that he get a treat and I didn't. So I did a very rare thing and splurged on myself. Remember when I said I wanted to give tight-lacing/waist training a try? Well I am. I've bought an under bust corset off eBay. It's probably not the greatest quality but it does have steel bones and the seller did assure me it is good for waist training. So we shall see. It was on sale as well so hopefully I get what I think I've ordered. If I like the feel of this corset I am going to save up to buy a custom made corset. I haven't told my husband all this yet. I wonder if he will like it or think I'm crazy? lol 

Since the harvest always goes back to food and a feast...What culinary creation have you made recently that you're proud of? I made very yummy bread yesterday. There is half a loaf left that is destined to become bread pudding.




So what are you harvesting in your life? Anything interesting happen to you this week?

Up and Down on this Rollercoaster called Life

Pain is a good thing right? It means your still alive at least. Today has been a great and a not so great day. Around noon I made lunch. My favorite, macaroni and cheese. The kind with the powdered cheese. You know the really crappy stuff. For some reason I was craving it with lots of butter. Shortly thereafter, I began to have a toothache. You know it really sucks when you're trying to entertain a toddler and your teeth hurt. Especially when that toddler loves to smack you in the face.

I make it a few hours with mild pain before my whole left side of my face began to hurt. It was so bad it radiated to my left eye and ear. I was gargling with antiseptic mouth wash. If I wasn't alone with Wyatt I think I would have drowned myself in whiskey just to reach oblivion. Thankfully my MIL and FIL didn't go to work today. They came home at 3pm and at 4 I made my FIL take me to urgent care where they gave me some pain meds for the time being. Now its just a dull ache. On June 7th I have my surgery to remove all my teeth and then get dentures. I really really want June 7th to hurry up and get here. I am afraid of surgery, and morn the loss of all my teeth. But its for the best.

On happier news, Dh has a job! On Wednesday he goes for orientation to be hired full time with Goodwill. The hours are minimal and the pay sucks, but at least its a job. Maybe we are finally pulling ourselves out of this hole. One can only hope!

And now, here's a song that I think describes my day pretty well.

Keep Candle Magick Simple

Hi Everyone! I know its been a bit since I've wrote. I've noticed there a few more people following my blog so a big wave and hello to them.

Last night I did a little mini spell again. Just a green candle, some herbs that represent change and/or financial gain, and a few simple words. I let my husband write it. I sort of chastised my husband for making it so simple. It went something like... You know what we want, help me!
Not those exact words but you get the point Dh was trying to make.

Do you find that its beneficial to keep rituals simple? Or do you need more elaborate rituals? I like a combination of both. Since I wasn't inspired by words yesterday, I had to let DH come up with it. It seems to have worked. I got a call for Dh today about an application he put in last week. DH was at "work". When I say work I mean the states version of slave labor. He's assigned a job by the state so we receive TANF. The thing is he works basically a full time job for pennies. But that's going off on a completely separate issue.

I took the cell phone and the phone number up to DH so he could call them on his break. So hopefully he will have an interview and possibly a job soon! Though the job is located 2 hrs away. We would have to move, which I don't mind if he gets the job.

I hope this all falls into place. I still have the candle and herbs. When DH comes home I will burn a little bit more of it again to keep the positive energy going.

Another point, when you go to blow out a candle, if it doesn't blow out do you leave it going? I always view that as a sign that it doesn't wish to go out yet and I let it burn. My tools all have a mind of their own sometimes. ;) Yesterday I went to blow the candle out when we were preparing to do the dishes. I was blowing right over top of it and it wouldn't go out, so I just left it alone till later. When it did go out, I was able to blow it out at a distance fairly easily.

In what ways do you keep your craft simple?

Outside the Box

So today my very dear friend Linda from Moonstruck is going to be doing a Pagan's Tonight talk radio interview. She posted about it today on her FB feed. I'm so happy for her! I can't wait to hear it. If you'd like to tune in, it starts at 10:15 pm.

After checking out Pagan's Tonight I nosed around Blog Talk Radio and found someone doing online readings. So I figured, why not. I was a bit skeptical because everything the reader was saying was full of sunny flowers and roses type messages. We all know life just isn't all positive. But when she got to me she definitely wasn't positive. lol. Well serves me right huh.

My question was of course about our financial and living arrangement. She basically said look out of the box, that she didn't think I'd make any progress until August - September (God I hope not that long!) and that she thought I'd find something in sales.

I'd be horrible at sales! I'm not the salesman type. I'm really not that good of a people person and for that kind of job you have to have a certain kind of charisma I just don't possess.

So not really sure how to take her reading. But I'm hoping she is just very off.

I've been trying to think outside the box this whole time. First with my Gypsy living idea, then trying to get Dh to go back to school, etc etc.. Nothing I suggest or say or do seems to work.

You know what I'd really like to do, travel! All my life I've only ever been a handful of places. I've felt so sheltered my entire life. I'd love that chance to see more of the world.

I don't often talk about my father. He was an ass that left us when I was just 3 yrs old. But he was a truck driver. I remember wondering where he was often when I was a child. I knew he traveled the country. I also tried to get DH to go to a truck driving school here, but he won't do it either. He says he thinks the driving would hurt his back. And I know driving often hurts him so that's nothing knew to me. I often have to drive for him when his back or neck is sore. He has degenerative disk disease, pinched nerves, etc... Sitting for long periods is painful for him. I want to say, get off your ass and do it anyway. But I know that's unfair. After all I couldn't do a job when I was required to walk all day. (I have Plantar Fisciitis Inflammation).

I just want to be taken care of and not feel like I have to be the one to solve all our problems.

Sorry for the ramble today. I don't always mean to get so negative. But this is where I am in my life.

Update: Good deeds

Unfortunately I don't have happy news to report. My husband went to do the interview but upon arrival he found lots of other people waiting for an interview as well. The manager interviewed half the people and sent the rest home to "be rescheduled". Which basically means they'll pick an employee out of the ones they interviewed today. If (And that's a big if) the person hired today doesn't work out then DH could be called. But were not holding our breath.

That sucks. Dh has been depressed ever since. I've talked before about how to support a bipolar husband, but I'm afraid there's not much I can do. I've tried looking on the bright side. Telling him something else better will come along. But he just grunts or ignores me. He's slept most of the afternoon and night.

Hopefully tomorrow he'll be in a better mood. Until then, we just keep plugging along and wishing for the best.

Good Deeds Rewarded

About two weeks ago while traveling to Chillicothe we stopped at a gas station. There we ran into a man whose battery had died. We gave him a jump. My husband always asks people if they know anyone hiring. Turns out, the man is a manager at a local restaurant. So the following Monday DH put in an application but was unable to speak with that manager. After not receiving a call Dh decided to go back to try to talk with the manager again.

The result...... He has an interview tomorrow.

Of course nothing right now is certain, but at least he has a chance to get hired. I'm so happy for him!
Just goes to show you what can happen when you work to remove negativity from your life and bring in the positive.

Please wish my husband all the well wishes and luck you can give. We really need this!

Good Luck Lance!

~Magickal Graphics~

Sleep Deprived

I nap a lot during the day, especially when DH is home. Right now he's between job assignments so he's home a lot. Which is good and bad. The good is that I can catch up on sleep sooner, the bad is that I'm going nuts and just wish he'd go find a job. DH was going to go to London which is about 2 hrs drive away to put in applications yesterday. But yesterday morning he said there was snow on the ground [That melted before I woke up] and he didn't know if it was going to snow again so wanted to stay home. I checked the news and told him no snow predicted, but somehow that didn't change his mind.

I know my husband has a mental illness. I know he has some anxiety about going back to work. But this can't go on! I call bullshit on his snow excuse. Every time he says he's going to go looking there's always a reason not to go. He did go to the next town over and put him a few applications. That took less than an hour. Then he was back home playing on the computer and doing nothing. And ya know what, that mysterious snow storm no one predicted but him, never came.

OK sorry I'm ranting. I've just had lack of sleep and disappointed in everything. Wyatt will not sleep in his bed tonight. I don't know why but sometimes he just refuses to sleep in his playpen.

He goes through these days where he sleeps just fine in it, the next he wants to be held or sleep next to me all night long. Those nights are exhausting and I've pretty much given up on getting any sleep right now. Though Wyatt is happily asleep next to me on the couch. I bet if I moved him to his bed he'd be awake in 2 seconds flat.

One Step Forward, Two Back

I feel like a Yo-yo. Just when I think I am finally crawling out of this hole something happens to push me back down. I announced a week ago that I had a new job. I was feeling pretty good about it. I was told it was a data entry position. I was informed that I'd have some data gathering responsibilities that would require me to enter the manufacturing facility. When I told the staffing agency that I have Plantar Fisciitis Inflammation and that I can't be on my feet for long they said no problem. I wouldn't be on my feet longer than 2 hrs at a time to gather data. That amount of time would cause my feet to become a little sore, but not debilitating.

I suppose after the staffing company sent me to two interviews for a clerical position and it turned out to be a factory job that I shouldn't be surprised that the description for this job was completely wrong.

But let me back up for a minute. At 5 am this morning I woke up feeling great. At last a job to help move us out of MIL's home and get us off assistance. I took my shower and did a quick Water meditation , ate breakfast, breastfed my son, and said goodbye to my family.
As I was driving out of the parking lot I see a nice fury bunny hopping out of my way. I smiled and thanked the bunny for reminding me of Spring and new beginnings. That moment was unfortunately the happiest moment of my day.

I arrive at work only to be informed that they don't have a working computer for me. The one they have is broken. I basically shadowed the other worker who does the same job all day long. Which was fine, it was a learning experience after all. However one of the very first thing my boss informs me of is that the staffing agency always tells people its a data entry job. While there is some data entry, it is far from a "data entry job". Most of the job entails walking the whole day in the manufacturing plant gathering data, learning how each station does their job and then writing directions on how the job is done for their instruction booklets. Pictures of parts are taken so it guides the user should a reference be needed. Its relatively easy once you have the information you need. But my feet just won't let me walk that much all day long. The data entry part maybe takes up an hour of my time a day. And that isn't at one sitting. Its 20 minutes here, another 30 there.

I stuck out the day, but by the end I could barely walk and I couldn't keep up with my trainer. She was having to slow her pace to wait for me which isn't fair to her.

When I got home I hugged my husband, picked my baby up and gave him a kiss and then told them I can't do it. I was trying to talk myself into at least sticking out 3 days, which is my normal time I give any job before I decide if I like it or not. But I had my doubts I could stand the 3 days. The decision was taken out of my hands when the staffing agency called some 30 minutes later and informed me that the client called and didn't want me to return because they couldn't accommodate my needs [In regards to me not being able to stand long hours].

I just feel like a complete failure. I hate to tell MIL I was fired the same day. I don't want to disappoint her. I know its not technically my fault.  I did inform them of my restrictions. But that doesn't make it OK to me. I wish I could have done the job. 

Its for the best they called to fire me, but dammit when are we going to get a break?! I hate being on assistance and it seems like the system is set up to keep you on it. I'm thinking about maybe going back to school. I'll call around and see where the closest campus are nearby and see what I could major in. Whatever it is, it will have to require I be able to sit!


P.S., I was very proud of me. I asked my boss where I could pump breast milk and she told me she'd show me the bathroom. I immediately told her that would not do because it is unsanitary. She blinked, then understood and we figured out a better place. I pumped 4 oz today. Wyatt still won't drink from a bottle or sippy but will eat oatmeal and mashed potatoes all day long. So his milk just goes into his food. He was very happy to see momma when I got home and we had some extra snuggle time.

P.P.S., I came home to find that my brother-in-law brought his little baby over. You can really tell that Wyatt and little Joe are cousins. They look almost identical. And my husband is a very smart man, but give him a camera and he'll take 4 short videos before he figures out that he has to change the settings! lol You can hear him saying, "Why didn't it flash!". Um, because your taking a video silly man! Hehe.

Little Joe (left) and Wyatt (right)

Crafts & Life

So I said in my last entry that I'd post pictures soon. Here they are. These two crafts were relatively quick. I say relatively because I took my good ol' time doing them. But realistically they can be completed within an hour or two.

Butterfly hair accessory

 Sierra loves her butterfly hair band. Its cute and simple to make! Below is the butterfly tutorial. The band is half double crochet (2 rows). Check your length on the first chain stitch so you know you have the size you need to fit. After you've completed two rows of HDC slip stitch to join the ends.

Valentines Heart Bag

This bag I did the Tunisian (Afghan) stitch until I had the size I wanted. You can make it wider and longer by just adding stitches and rows. Then I took red and single crochet the sides together. The single crochet makes a nice boarder. The handle is also single crochet. I tried a couple different ways to crochet a heart, but I found the following tutorial to be the easiest.

~Magickal Graphics~ 

Now on to my mundane life. Since I spoke about Balance in the family and becoming the leader, I've found that part of our barrier to moving forward has been taken down! Yippee. It's amazing how much just changing ones perspective does for ones life.  I start my new job tomorrow. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm nervous. Well no, I'm not nervous. I am apprehensive, hopeful and curious. I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing besides some clerical work. I know it's more than that however since the job requires me to have steel toe shoes. I am sad that I won't be home with Wyatt. I've tried to be extra cuddly with him these past few days because I know I'm going to miss him terribly. Though I'm sure daddy will take good care of him. 

 

Wyatt doesn't drink from a sippy or bottle well, so we are dealing with separation issues. I've had to spend a lot of money on items I need for work and I won't get paid for two weeks. These are all life's little growing pains I hope one day I can look back on and smile. Hopefully soon we'll be able to afford a new place to live. After that my goal will be to bring my dog Kota home! One step at a time though. 

Until then, I wish you all Blessings, Love, and Light. I leave you with this quote. 

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.  Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger.  If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.  ~Dale Carnegie

Turning the Tide

So I have some interesting news. Today I received a letter stating we are being sanctioned. Despite the fact that DH did what our case worker told him to do, we will not receive TANF for a month. That sucks, because I know DH has been working his ass off. We can protest it, which we will, but the case worker wasn't there today so it will have to wait till Monday.

But that may not matter since I also had a job offer not 30 minutes after reading the letter. I go for a drug test and orientation today. I'll be basically the office help. Not sure what else because the lady was pretty vague on the job description. But I hope this is another step in turning the tide. We need this change, though the momma in me screams NO because I don't want to leave my sons side. I know he's going to have a rough time transitioning and if I'm being honest so will I.

~Magickal Graphics~ 

How was everyone's Imbolc? I bet your just as eager as I to see the coming Spring. I spent the day crocheting a little bag for my daughter. Her school makes Valentines boxes but they are so generic. She wanted something special so I decided a little white hand bag with a cute red heart would be perfect for all her Valentines cards. I'm not sure if her teacher will allow her to use it in school, but she can transfer them to the bag after she's out of school. Or she can use the bag for something else. Its very cute but unfortunately the batteries in my mouse died so I stole a battery out of my camera. I have some other creations I've yet to photograph as well I'd like to share. 

A Good Energy Request

Hello everyone! I'd like to ask my readers to send good energy, thoughts, prayers for me tomorrow. I have a second interview at 1:30. I hope this job is right for me and I impress the company. We need the money so we can get off of assistance and find our own place. I know we are all tired of living with MIL. Its time to move on!

If you could please just keep me in your good wishes and send lots of positive energy I'd appreciate it! While I feel sad that if I get this job I will no longer be a SAHM, it's really past time I re-enter the work force. I do feel better that Dh will be a SAHD. It's important to me that Wyatt have at least one of us here. He is going to try to get disability which will take awhile to get. Money will still be tight even if I get the job, but it will help!

Thank you very much.

Robin

Wish me luck!

I'm not really sure that I believe in luck since I do believe everything happens for a reason. But tomorrow I have a job interview. Its for a temp agency. However I was hired full time at my last job through a temp agency, so I hope to repeat that here. Before moving to Ohio I worked at HP EDS doing data entry. I know little of the job I'm interviewing for other than it is for data entry.

I could use all the good thoughts, wishes and juju juice you got! Though I'm going to miss my son like crazy, its time to do this. Dh will be staying home with Wyatt so at least he won't be with some stranger.

Update on Am I wrong...

So I wrote about wanting to stay home longer with DS and making DH do the work hours for TANF. We arrived at our appointment at 9 am and basically she told DH he has to do the hours. He will be doing volunteer work at the dog shelter which I think he will enjoy. He loves animals so I can't see that as being a bad thing! So yay for me being able to take care of the kids. I know this isn't a permanent situation and I will eventually need to go to work. But for now, I think its very important that I am the one taking care of our children.

I feel like we've missed so much of Sierras childhood because we were both working 10 hour days. I know she is a lot happier when we are home too. Thanks everyone for your advice.

Am I wrong in wanting to stay home?

To understand my story you need a little background information.
With my first child I was working as a Printer for a pet products company. Both DH and I worked together. After having my daughter I spent 4 weeks home but was forced to return to work because of money. I breast fed DD until I went back to work because the job required I work with chemicals that enters the blood through skin contact and therefore also milk.
Fast forward 10 years later and I feel like my husband has a better relationship with our daughter than I do. We really missed that bonding time. Yes you can bond in other ways but that didn't happen because DH was always the one to do most of the "work". Leaving me to do other household chores.

So now that our son is here, I've breast fed him for 3 months and its been wonderful. He and I are really bonded and I love it. He prefers me. My husband can't hold him long because Wyatt always cries. And Dh has arthritis now which makes it painful for him to hold Wyatt for a long time. Wyatt isn't happy most of the time unless he's getting attention or being held.

Because we are on government assistance right now, we are required to do a job requirement to recieve our benefits. I stayed in KY with my mother (Under horrible conditions while pregnant) and DH was suppose to get a job before I came to Ohio. That didn't happen. I finally had enough of those bad conditions and came to Ohio when I was 32 weeks pregnant. We are still living with MIL.

Dh has done "some" job searching. But most of the time he sits around the house and plays on the computer or watches tv or sleeps. He hasn't been doing the job search because he's bipolar and they are afraid he will "snap". He's been bipolar for a very long time. Now, he did freak out one time and he has some anxiety over finding a new job because of the way he was fired from his last job. However he's on medication now and it seems to be a little better. IMO he's just fine to go to work.

Wouldn't it make more sense for him to go so I can stay home and care for our children? He can't take care of the baby. Yet I'm about to be forced to satisfy the job requirement because Dh won't do it. I just want to scream. If I go to work I'd have to get someone else to babysit. I do NOT like strangers looking after my child. DH could take care of our daughter. She is 9 and basically can take care of herself. But he wouldn't be able to take care of Wyatt. And Wyatt refuses a bottle 99% of the time anyway. The only times he really will take a bottle is if he is absolutely starving!

I'm just really frustrated. I feel like DH just needs to man up and go get a job. Yet he thinks its better I do it. I've tried talking to him this morning. He didn't say anything though.

Happy Full Moon!

Harvest Moon

Its the Harvest moon and that means what seeds we have sown are coming to fruition. So what are your plans for celebrating this time? What are you waiting to come full circle in your life?

In January we began our journey of moving back home to Ohio. We have yet to settle ourselves into our new life. We are still waiting to come full circle. I hope as we enter the harvest time our life will change and settle.

My the Lord & Lady help us find the right job and housing so that we may lead a better life. And may our dog Kota be protected and loved while she is in my mothers care.

Blessings, Love & Light

SalemWitchChild