Pagan Dad has a post about whether we should tell kids about Santa Clause. I've seen and replied to this topic several times over the past few days. There's always the argument that if you don't tell your kids Santa is real you're robbing them of their childhood. Verses telling them about Santa and teaching them all parents lie to their kids.
We choose not to do Santa. Though it isn't a simple matter of telling lies. Certainly lying to children is wrong, however for my case our decision not to participate in the Santa tale stems from my childhood. My mother, though she is a well meaning woman, constantly stretches the truth so far that I always have to decipher what is a lie or truth. It's like a puzzle each time she speaks!
I never believed in Santa as a child. Even at a young age I was smart enough to figure out it would be pretty impossible for Santa to bring toys to each child in one night and squeeze his overly large behind down chimneys. Don't get me started on those houses without a fire place!
"Santa brings a sense of magical wonder to children."
I find this one a bit laughable considering people who say this also berate me for being the "weird woman who thinks she's a witch." So what about that "magical wonder" children are suppose to have? Well personally I feel they can still have that without the tale of Santa or the Tooth fairy or whatever other tale parents want to tell. I can also teach my child about the spirit of giving without a big fat man in a suit.
"But there's no difference in telling about God/Goddess and Santa"
I hear that reasoning often too. They have a point, neither can be proved and we just have to have faith. However I don't force my beliefs on my children. I tell them what I believe, and if they choose to believe it to so be it. If not, that's OK too. Same with Santa. If they wish to believe I'm not going to be mad. But I will tell them I really buy the presents.
"But your children will ruin it for my kids."
Children inevitably hear it from other kids. By this time, their probably ready to hear the truth anyway. However I do teach my children that other parents choose to have their children believe in Santa, and that we shouldn't discuss Santa with other kids.
"St. Nicholas was a real person, therefore Santa is real."
Unless you believe in immortal beings, St. Nick is dead! Do you really want kids telling other kids Santa is dead? No, didn't think you did. Yes there really was a St. Nicholas. It's also a good idea to teach your kids about this very real person. If you home school this is a wonderful history lesson. However that doesn't mean you should tell kids he's alive, living at the North pole, and handing out toys to all kids in the world one day a year. A small kernel of truth does not make the whole story true. I don't believe St. Nick is a "Spirit of Christmas", because I believe after so long his spirit would have moved onto many different lives.
Bottom line is that I strive to teach my kids never to lie by not lying to them myself. There is no harmless lie. Truth and honesty are major moral lessons in this household. I feel that the truth is best even if it hurts ourselves and others at the time. In the end my children know I will always tell them the truth and can be trusted to never deceive them.
That said, I respect a parents right to choose what is right for their kids. If you want them to believe in Santa, go right ahead. Just don't assume my children believe in Santa, and don't force your choice on us. We'll also make sure our kids don't force our choice on your family.
Do you tell your kids about Santa or the Holly King?
We choose not to do Santa. Though it isn't a simple matter of telling lies. Certainly lying to children is wrong, however for my case our decision not to participate in the Santa tale stems from my childhood. My mother, though she is a well meaning woman, constantly stretches the truth so far that I always have to decipher what is a lie or truth. It's like a puzzle each time she speaks!I never believed in Santa as a child. Even at a young age I was smart enough to figure out it would be pretty impossible for Santa to bring toys to each child in one night and squeeze his overly large behind down chimneys. Don't get me started on those houses without a fire place!
"Santa brings a sense of magical wonder to children."
I find this one a bit laughable considering people who say this also berate me for being the "weird woman who thinks she's a witch." So what about that "magical wonder" children are suppose to have? Well personally I feel they can still have that without the tale of Santa or the Tooth fairy or whatever other tale parents want to tell. I can also teach my child about the spirit of giving without a big fat man in a suit.
"But there's no difference in telling about God/Goddess and Santa"
I hear that reasoning often too. They have a point, neither can be proved and we just have to have faith. However I don't force my beliefs on my children. I tell them what I believe, and if they choose to believe it to so be it. If not, that's OK too. Same with Santa. If they wish to believe I'm not going to be mad. But I will tell them I really buy the presents.
"But your children will ruin it for my kids."
Children inevitably hear it from other kids. By this time, their probably ready to hear the truth anyway. However I do teach my children that other parents choose to have their children believe in Santa, and that we shouldn't discuss Santa with other kids.
"St. Nicholas was a real person, therefore Santa is real."
Unless you believe in immortal beings, St. Nick is dead! Do you really want kids telling other kids Santa is dead? No, didn't think you did. Yes there really was a St. Nicholas. It's also a good idea to teach your kids about this very real person. If you home school this is a wonderful history lesson. However that doesn't mean you should tell kids he's alive, living at the North pole, and handing out toys to all kids in the world one day a year. A small kernel of truth does not make the whole story true. I don't believe St. Nick is a "Spirit of Christmas", because I believe after so long his spirit would have moved onto many different lives.
Bottom line is that I strive to teach my kids never to lie by not lying to them myself. There is no harmless lie. Truth and honesty are major moral lessons in this household. I feel that the truth is best even if it hurts ourselves and others at the time. In the end my children know I will always tell them the truth and can be trusted to never deceive them.
That said, I respect a parents right to choose what is right for their kids. If you want them to believe in Santa, go right ahead. Just don't assume my children believe in Santa, and don't force your choice on us. We'll also make sure our kids don't force our choice on your family.
Do you tell your kids about Santa or the Holly King?
We won't have Santa in this house, simply because I associate him with Christmas, and well, we don't celebrate Christmas. Hubby's a Heathen and Odin is his Patron, so we may have Odin as the gift giver....maybe. Haven't really decided, but we have a few years. As for the Holly and Oak Kings, well, we'll keep them as a story, along with the other Pagan stories we find for this time of the year. ~)O(~
ReplyDeleteWe use Christmas and Yule interchangeably. It's just easier to do that since extended family always call it Christmas. My children know it's really Yule we celebrate though.
DeleteI LOVE your article and agree 100% with it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to read and leaving me a comment! So glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteI did with my daughter, still do and she is thirteen and chooses to *believe*, which considering her views on fae and other energetic beings. ascended masters, angels, etc. We call St Nick, Sinterklaas, Father Winter. She knows I buy the presents from Santa and if that's how she wishes to see it, it's her call. St, Nick or Sinterklaas bring her new boots each December 6th, with chocs and warm things like socks, hats, mittens and or gloves. I was raised on Santa, I was raised on magic and miracles and wishes. I was disappointed when I learned who Santa was but it didn't affect me long, my childhood was hell, filled with abuse so Santa was the least of my worries.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of him called Sinterklaas. Thanks, I have a term to look up! :)
DeleteWe're Muslims so we only celebrate our two holidays which are the two Eids. Eid Al Fitr and Eid Al Adha. I think it is a shame that Christmas is now about gifts instead of giving. :( I figured out Santa wasn't real at 10.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your reply Rainbow Bunny. I don't know much about Islam. I agree though that the commercialization of the holiday is a shame.
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