Smile!

I think everyone that has a naturally beautiful smile takes for granted how pivotal to society it is to be able to smile without fear. I wasn't one of the lucky ones. Blame it on genetics, growing up poor, or just plain bad habits. In my case, it's a combination of all three. By the time I was 7 I already had learned not to smile. Of course childhood teasing started early and really lead to low self esteem and just not caring in my teen years.

People have considered me stuck up because I don't smile or look cheerful. I was even fired for a job for "not being cheerful enough." I tried a little half smile, but I'm afraid it just came off as a grimace rather than a friendly gesture. Today, I can fully smile and be proud! I finally got my dentures. It's been almost a year since I started this transformation. I'm sure there is going to be an adjustment period. But I can already feel my outlook on life changing. There's no more need to hide!

Smile, and be happy. :) 

Wyatt shows us he has a great smile too!

The Web We Weave

Grandmother Spider. Photographed on June 6th 2012 by Robin LC

Spider totems bring us a message of mystery, power, and growth. The spider's web is a symbol for how we weave our own life. Each choice takes us in a direction that is far-reaching with consequences beyond our perception at the time decisions are made.

In December of last year I made the decision to visit the dentist to talk about my options to fix my teeth. The dentist took a look and decided there wasn't much to save. Its the answer I thought I'd hear but I didn't know if I was quite ready for dentures. I went ahead and made the appointment to have my teeth pulled. The appointment was 6 months away, so that was plenty of time to come to terms with my impending change.

Tonight is the last night I will have my natural teeth. At 9am I have my appointment to pull all my teeth. In a way, I morn their loss. Even though they are broken, yellowed and just plain ugly, they are still mine and its hard to let go for someone like me who hates change. There is also the unknown. The pain I don't worry much about. But will I like having dentures? I have a few people in my life who have them. An old high school friend tells me its the best thing she ever did. Yet my own mother got them and doesn't wear them because they don't fit her right. My step-father-in-law also has dentures and I never even knew it until he told me one day. So these various people in my life gives me a diverse example of what can happen. Only time will tell if I've made the right decision for me.

This spider was waiting for me today on our lamp in the yard. She reminds me that each decision has a consequence. Each web I weave effects myself - hopefully in a positive way.

For many years now I knew one day I'd move back to Ohio. But yet I also dreamed there would be a period of death. I now think that the dream was a premonition. Not of physical death but a major change. In this dream I changed not only my career and home, but my physical appearance as well. In the dream my teeth were beautiful and I lost weight. I was successful and happy.

Perhaps this decision is one more step toward that reality.

I took a picture of me smiling tonight. Its the first I've taken that I didn't immediately erase. I never smile on purpose because of my teeth. I'll be extremely happy when I don't have to worry about someone recoiling in horror when I smile. I won't post it today though. I want that after picture before I share.

For now I'll just thank Grandmother spider for bringing this message of change, and say Blessed Be.

What is the nicest thing you've done for a stranger?

What is the nicest thing you've done for a stranger?

This has been a few years ago. But I had just been to the OBYN and was told I may never have another child again (Thankfully they were so wrong!). Basically because I took Depo prevera for so many years it ruined my fertility and I got the news that it may never come back. And they also wouldn't help me with fertility till we waited longer and I lost weight.


Anyway, on my way home I stopped in a convenience store for gas and some water when a nice young man noticed I was obviously having a very bad day. He tried to joke around with me to cheer me up. I totally went off on him. I forget what I said but it was pretty bad. As I left I was completely ashamed of my actions. So I turned around and went back into town to buy him an I'm sorry card. I even went to Hallmark instead of the cheaper cards. lol. 

When I returned to the store he was busy, so I just handed him the card, smiled, and walked away. I saw him in the window reading it and him smiling back at me. 

I stopped in a few months later in hopes to see him again, but he wasn't there.
Anyway, I think of him sometimes and wonder if that day hand the same impact on his life as it did for me. 

What about you?