My first weak moment for me is a time when I felt like my body was not my own. Wyatt was only a couple weeks old then, and the term "leech" came to my mind. I'm not sure if that was a little bit of PPD or what, but I felt so guilty for feeling that way. If you've ever felt that way, its OK to just unlatch and take a breather.
I remember about a month after he was born I had a mommy breakdown. My nipples were cracked and bleeding so bad I was flinching every time he latched. This was before we had his tongue tie clipped. Trust me, if you have a baby that is tongue tied, find a doctor to clip it! The night of my mommy meltdown I was exhausted. I sleep on the couch and had his bassinet right beside me. He was waking every two hours to nurse still. That night I cried as I was feeding my son. I just couldn't stand the pain any longer. Using my own milk didn't help sooth my nipples. Nor did any cream. Our local Wal-Mart didn't carry nipple shields, so I sent my husband to the store at 4 am to buy bottles. That night I felt like a complete breast feeding failure. I let him feed our son while I got a good nights rest.
The next day I went back to breastfeeding our son. I had my husband feed him one bottle a day for a few days till my nipples healed. Then went back to breastfeeding full time. His tongue tie was also clipped by then, so we were having a better time with latching. Soon it became an afterthought to just pop the nipple in his mouth and lay back in our recliner while he had lunch. My husband is such a trooper. In those early days he took care of everything while I just nursed in the recliner. He brings me water and food and takes care of the house and our DD while I relax and breast feed. So I just want to say having family support you in those first weeks post-partum (and beyond) is a wonderful gift!
Before the baby, I said I'd only breast feed to 6 months. When I got pregnant and did a lot of research. I then changed my mind and said I'd go to a year. Now, I don't see us stopping at 6 months, a year, or maybe not even 2 years. I'll let him decide that.
So I hope whoever is reading this, perhaps you just have your brand new little one in your arms or just found out your pregnant, I just want to say I've been in your shoes, and while its not easy, its completely worth it!
|Wyatt. 4 months old|